41 Funny Sayings About Getting Older That Will Make Aging Less of a Burden

It is said that everyone experiences a midlife crisis of some kind. You might feel that you are past your prime and that life is passing you by. Also, the mere look at your birth certificate may send you into a state of shock! But before you rush to buy a brand new sports car, or even undergo some form of plastic surgery, read through my collection of funny sayings about getting older.

These quotes will put a comical spin on growing old and reassure you that you are not over the hill just yet! Even if you have an occasional senior moment, or if you are indeed no spring chicken anymore, you should revel in the fact that you lived to see the ripe old age. Whether you’re considering moving to a retirement community or not, these humorous reflections can brighten your day and remind you that life’s adventures continue, regardless of age. Now, all that’s left to do is delve into the quotes that are sure to make you burst out laughing!

41 Most Humorous Quotes About Getting Older

Funny Sayings About Getting Older — The Best One-Liners

#1. “As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.” — Robert Quillen

#2. “Middle age ends and senescence begins the day your descendants outnumber your friends.” — Ogden Nash

#3. “Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.” — Jennifer Yane

#4. “For the first half of your life, people tell you what you should do; for the second half, they tell you what you should have done.” — Richard J. Needham

#5. “As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don’t.” — Carrie Fisher

#6. “An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” — Agatha Christie

#7. “There is still no cure for the common birthday.” — John Glenn

#8. “I’ve reached the age where my brain went from ‘You probably shouldn’t say that’ to ‘What the hell, let’s see what happens.’” — Unknown

#9. “Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative.” — Maurice Chevalier

#10. “Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.” — Unknown

#11. “I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past.” — Robert Brault

#12. “Respect old people — they graduated school without Google or Wikipedia.” — Unknown

Quotes About Not Feeling Your Age

#13. “I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.” — Nancy Astor

#14. “Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.” — Mark Twain

#15. “I don’t let my age define me, but the side effects are getting harder to ignore.” — Unknown

#16. “People say that age is just a state of mind. I say it’s more about the state of your body.” — Geoffrey Parfitt

#17. “Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.” — Oliver Wendell Holmes

Funny Sayings About Getting Older That Will Make You Laugh in the Face of Middle Age

#18. “The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.” — Doris Day

#19. “I’m fifty-nine, and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?” — Barry Cryer

#20. “My midlife crisis in two sentences: Where am I going to park? Where did I park?” — Unknown

#21. “The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.” — Jerry M. Wright

#22. “I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed.” — Unknown

#23. “Middle age: When you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms.” — Georges Clemenceau

#24. “Middle age is when a guy starts turning off lights for economical rather than romantic reasons.” — Eli Cass

#25. “Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.” — Bob Hope

#26. “At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for.” — Unknown

#27. “Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together, and your body starts falling apart.” — Caryn Leschen

#28. “Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that’ll get you home earlier.” — Dan Bennett

Funny Sayings About Getting Older That Will Make You Laugh Your Heart Out

#29. “The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget.” — Unknown

#30. “A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him: ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’” — Claude Pepper

#31. “You know you’re getting older when your childhood toys become collectibles and antiques.” — Unknown

#32. “As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” — Sir Norman Wisdom

#33. “Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself.” — Tom Wilson

#34. “Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.” — John Wagner

#35. “At my age, I’ve heard it all; I’ve seen it all; and I’ve done it all. I just can’t remember it all.” — unknown

#36. “First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.” — Leo Rosenberg

#37. “You know you’re getting old when everything hurts. And what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.” — Hy Gardner

#38. “There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it.” — Patrick Moore

#39. “When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile.” — George Burns

#40. “I don’t do alcohol anymore — I get the same effect just standing up fast.” — Unknown

#41. “You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.”

— John Mendoza

Final Thoughts

In the end, laughter is the best medicine. So laugh growing old off and remain forever young at heart. Even if you are over the hill, it doesn’t mean your life is going downhill. So next time you feel sad that you are in the twilight years of your life, reread the funny sayings about getting older. Then, remember that sunset is the most colorful and mesmerizing time of day — and smile!