Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is disastrously painful.
Being unloved and rejected by the person who’s been with you for a long time will only cause you heartbreak.
I know it’s not going to be easy but it’s probably the best time for you to let go of the past, break free and move on.
In this article, I’ve listed some tips on how to get over someone who doesn’t love you anymore. I hope it helps.
How to Get Over Someone
1. Give yourself space and time.
Acknowledge the pain and realize that he/she doesn’t love you anymore.
Acceptance is always the hardest part of moving on but it’s the first step to healing and the first step for a new door to open that will guide you to a better person and better experiences.
Realizing that the person we’ve been with for a long time has changed can put us in anguish. It’s difficult to understand why the one we loved and cherished has chosen to leave us behind. It’s important to remember that everything changes and nothing is permanent.
Psychologically speaking, heartbreaks and rejections can cause depression, it’s healthy and natural to express your sadness and to let out those emotions than suppressing them. There is nothing wrong with having to grieve but don’t get stuck in there.
Welcoming the fact that the pain is normal can help you get over them. Acknowledge that the pain is normal and it’s better to feel something than to feel nothing. It’s high time you loved yourself more and focus on your self-development.
Realize that you both have your own lives to live.
Having been with that person for a long time would maybe change the sense of your individuality and dependency. Maybe you started to realize that you can’t live without them, and that’s the reason why moving on is pretty hard.
Remember that before you loved each other, both of you had your individual lives, it’s important to realize the fact that you loved the beautiful person you are in the past before loving them, you lived your life without them. Don’t let the pain you are feeling rob you of the chance of becoming that person again. Love yourself first.
In a relationship, maybe you tend to think that you can control the other person’s feelings, responses, thoughts, and actions, but you can’t, you can only control your own feelings. The only person who can control your life is you.
Burn bridges and erase all the memories of that person.
You might think that it’s cruel, selfish and unkind, but it is not. It is part of giving yourself space, burning all ways of communication from that person will give you space and a little time to think.
Erasing all kinds of memories you had with that person can be painful, and it’s always okay to cry over them. Getting rid of mementos and blocking the person on any social media platform to hide any reminders of what he/she is doing can help you keep a distance and prevent you from re-initiating contact.
If you’ve relied on that person for emotional support in the past, you can always reach out to your friend.
2. Enacting momentary predicament.
Avoid awkward contact with the person when intoxicated.
At first, it’s hard to resist the temptation to contact that other person because you miss him/her. Sometimes, drinking is a way to forget something painful or to just release some of our emotions, but avoid re-initiating contact with the person when intoxicated.
Alcohol can impair our judgment, thus calling or texting the other person and crying over them is a big no-no. The good thing to do is give your phone to any person you trust, delete the other person’s phone number in your contact list or you can also text or call your friend.
Do something different to off-put yourself.
It’s hard to forget memories that you cherished with that person, but it is advisable that every time those memories come to the surface, try to do something different and new that will distract you.
It can be doing another project or engaging in activities like watching movies, listening to new songs, reading a book or having conversations with friends.
The other person is hurting too.
You may feel like you’re the only person who’s suffering from the pain of being unloved and rejected but study shows that the person who doesn’t love you back is feeling the way you feel too.
Remember that each person has their own reasons, thinking about what they feel after heartbreak can give you some different point-of-view and help you in the healing process.
Always remember your worth.
The best way to surpass rejection faster is making a list of the good traits about you. Write down every good thing about yourself.
Like “I might not be awesome as Superman, but I can sing like Beyoncé and I love myself for that.” You can also ask a friend for help. Self-respect is to love “you.” If you don’t value yourself, no one else will. Stop thinking you’re not worthy to be loved. Everyone deserves to be loved.
3. The Healing Process.
Erase those memories.
Memories can be triggered in so many ways, it can be a song that reminds you of the other person or a place you’ve been with him/her which reminds you of wonderful and happy things you had together. Avoiding those memory triggers can help you in the process of healing and moving on.
These memory triggers are inevitable, you may feel regret or sadness, but it’s better to acknowledge it and evade that negativity. Instead, turn your attention into something positive.
Getting it off your chest.
Talking to someone you trust, it may be your friend, a therapist or even a family member, and expressing to them how you feel and what you’re going through will help lessen the burden of heartbreak.
Talking to someone who’s gone through the same thing you’re experiencing can be very helpful, they’ll understand what you’re going through and they can give you advice on how they manage pain. If you can’t or don’t want to talk to someone, writing a journal about your feelings can be a good way too.
Have fun and reach out to other people.
Research suggests that rejections can make a person disconnect and isolate themselves. Interaction with people and having fun can help you speed up the process of healing.
Watch comedy movies, sing with your friends and have fun. When you’re having fun your brain releases endorphins which can help to increase your body’s ability to tolerate pain and make you feel good.
Get rid of any thoughts that remind you of the other person.
Be strong and face the fact that people can change. Remember that you were doing absolutely fine before that other person came into your life, don’t let them think that you can’t live without them, prove to them that you absolutely can!
Don’t let yourself think that you’re not worthy of love from someone else. You deserve to be loved and you deserve to be happy.
Think the rejection as redirection to a better destination.
You can use rejections as another learning experience. Remind yourself that through this experience you have learned how to be strong and to have self-respect.
Go on a vacation and try new things.
Break your old habits and try to do new things like going to a beautiful place you’ve never been to or trying a different hobby like surfing, taking yoga classes or learning how to play a musical instrument.
In this way, you can distract yourself from the pain of the rejection and improve yourself.
Develop your personal growth and step out of your comfort zone.
If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you tend to invest unconditional feelings towards the other person, thinking your world only revolves around them and most likely become obsessed with that person and forget who you really are.
Self-growth can help you during the healing process, do new routines and develop things that would make you unique.
Get a brand-new look, get a haircut or try new clothes. It’s important to remember that the rejection isn’t always about you, don’t try to “fix” yourself to win the heart of others, instead, improve yourself to attract someone better.
4. Accept and Move on.
Remember that moving on takes time.
Moving on is not an easy process, just like wounds, it takes time to heal. During the grievance stage, you tend to isolate yourself from other people.
Signs that you’re ready to move on include taking interest in what everyone else is doing, you stop expecting calls or text from the other person, you stop any memory triggers that can remind you of the other person, you stop carrying the weight of heartbreak on your shoulders and you stop being sad and angry.
Avoid deteriorating the wound.
The memory of the other person can trigger even when you think you’re ready to move on. Control yourself and resist temptations of getting back with the other person, even when he/she tries hard. Letting him/her in your life again will just cause you to cross back over.
Fall back in love.
Remember that you are beautiful, unique and absolutely awesome. Get back in the game, meet new and interesting people, find someone better, allow yourself to feel the wonder of love again. The most important thing is to love you first before anyone else.
Your life isn’t over because that other person stopped loving you. Your life will continue as long as you know how to love.
Never stop loving.
It’s important to remember that just because the other person stopped loving you doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of love.
So, never stop loving. You can be a precious gem to anyone out there, know your worth and love yourself enough to not let that person ruin your life.
Love and relationship is a mix of thorns and roses. Letting go of someone dear to our heart can be agonizing.
The pain we feel can undoubtedly leave scars in our heart forever, but take this rejection as a learning experience. It might take time, but you need to have the attitude to carry on when people you trust hurt you.
Don’t be afraid to start over. It’s a brand-new opportunity to rebuild what you truly want. Your relationship hitting the rocks is not necessarily a bad thing, think of it as being able to start from the scratch with a blank slate.