A healthy sex life is often depicted as being rampant with all manner of exciting positions, laden with suitcases filled with sex toys and a couple who can barely keep their hands off one another in public. Of course, in the real world, we know that this isn’t always necessarily the case – not for everyone at least.
But what constitutes a healthy sex life in a relationship? Ultimately, as long as both parties are happy, satisfied and feel valued by their other half, that’s plenty healthy enough.
The fact is, you mustn’t measure your sexual health based on what works for others. As the saying goes: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” As such, finding your way to a happier, healthier and more fulfilling, sex life must be achieved through mutual respect and open communication.
Bring yourselves closer through communication
It’s time for the pair of you to stop being so prudish and talk to one another. If this is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with then you must be able to have an open and honest discussion about sex.
When you can sit down with one another and talk about your sexual relationship, it will inspire feelings of intimacy and bring you both closer together. Just remember that it’s a two-way street; both of you must get the opportunity to air your feelings and both of you must listen.
Open communication will enable you to feel more confident in “letting go” during sex and when that happens, any feelings of shame, doubt or guilt will quickly subside.
Talking about sex leads to better sex
Sexual communication can be daunting! The mere mention of it – for some people – conjures expectations of having to “talk dirty” and be vocal during sex. This isn’t necessarily the case. It’s all about having an honest discussion about the areas in which you are struggling.
Try to keep it positive; talk about the things that you love and enjoy and then focus on the areas that need improvement. If you don’t like your partner’s technique, tell them. Let them know what makes you feel good! Your partner wants to make you feel amazing.
You must also remember that healthy sex is about reciprocation and not just participation. If one party tends to be more “generous” than the other during sex, then that can quickly become an issue. Why not treat yourself or your other half with some Australian sex toys for your partner to go “down under” on you once in a while.
Respect each other’s boundaries and sexual differences
The reality is you both might be interested in different things. This doesn’t mean that you are sexually incompatible – only that you need to communicate these preferences, respect them and try experimenting with one another.
Perhaps you’d like to play with sex toys but your partner doesn’t feel comfortable? Compromise and introduce something less intimidating, such as a personal vibrator.
When you respect one another and agree to make more of an effort, you’d be surprised by just how significant your relationship can evolve.
If you are able to crack this, sit down together and really listen to what each other has to say, you will notice a significant improvement in your sexual relationship. Who knows, you might even discover that both of you share a similar kink that you’ve been shamefully hiding from one another. You’ll never know until you finally communicate with purpose.