It’s normal for a long-term relationship to have its ups and downs when it comes to sex – if you’ll pardon the pun. For most couples, the thrills and passions of a new relationship tend to ebb away after the first year or two, even more so when there are new babies to look after, stressful jobs to attend to and other responsibilities to juggle alongside your sex life.
There are many reasons why passionate, intense sex becomes less and less frequent over time, and even becomes a rarity in a long-term relationship. The arrival of children, lack of body confidence and over-familiarity are all supplementary reasons (alongside stress and busy lifestyles) that can help explain low levels of intimacy between a couple. But just because it’s normal, does it mean that it’s nothing to worry about?
Whilst it might not be the most important factor, science certainly agrees that sex can be used as a great parameter for the overall relationship: according to one study of heterosexual couples, sexual satisfaction directly influenced relationship satisfaction, with sexual satisfaction being a stronger predictor of relationship satisfaction for men than for women in long term relationships. There are no two ways about it: when it comes to the long haul, sex is important.
However, if your sex life has become stale and boring and it’s impacting your relationship, don’t fret. There are plenty of ways to spice up your relationship, from trying out chair sex to experimenting with sex toys. Get stuck into our round-up and pick up some tips to reinvigorate your sex life!
How to reinvigorate your sex life with spontaneity
1. Chair sex
If you want to really channel some early-relationship energy, why not try out chair sex? Not only does it give off major “I need to have you right now” vibes, but chair sex is also a great way to experiment with new positions.
Exciting chair sex positions:
Queening is a great power-play position: the woman sits on a single-space chair and spreads her legs, whilst her partner kneels at her feet and performs oral sex. If you’re in the chair, you can run your hands through your partner’s hair or simply sip a martini as you let yourself be brought to orgasm. Either way, we can guarantee that your first time “queening” won’t be the last!
Perfect if you love a bit of doggy-style action, this simple chair sex position requires a sturdy chair and a bit of backwork: the woman (or person being penetrated) simply bends over the back of the chair to give their partner a better angle for penetration. An ideal chair would be one with a lower spine, to really work that angle and maybe hit that G spot or P spot!
Our last recommended chair sex position, the standing wheelbarrow, is the most advanced position of all three, and the position that demands the most cooperation between both partners. With the penetrating partner sitting comfortably on a chair, the person receiving the penetration straddles their partner in reverse cowgirl, before leaning forward and placing their hands on the floor.
Once in position, it’s up to you both how you want to play it: be mindful that the partner receiving the penetration will be exerting a lot of effort during this chair sex position, so be careful not to turn a fun sex session into an Olympic training session!
2. Gag balls, restraints and blindfolds
Another way of adding a bit of spontaneity into your relationship and sex life is to invest in some fun sex toys and accessories. Gag balls are great for adding some power-play into your intimate time: many women who love feeling submissive during sex love wearing gag balls to enhance the feeling of being completely dominated: wearing a gag ball leaves you at the total whim of your partner, who can tease you as much as they please!
Whilst you don’t need to be a BDSM enthusiast to love a gag ball, don’t write off BDSM just yet! One study recently found that couples who regularly engage in BDSM practices report higher relationship satisfaction than those who don’t. This is possibly due to the fact that trust levels between partners in BDSM couples are extremely high – it has to be, if you’re letting your partner tie you up and put you in a gag ball!
3. Sex Chairs
If you don’t have any adaptable chairs at home for chair sex, why not try out a chair designed specifically for sex? In a viral article published in Women’s Health magazine in 2017, a writer admitted to having suffered through the same-sex drought with her husband that so many long-term couples face. Her solution? A sex chair!
Whilst it might not carry the same spontaneity as chair sex, a sex chair can enhance your favourite positions, get rid of your body insecurities and let you hit angles that you never even knew existed! A sex chair is also great for making sure that there is at least one designated space in the house for couples time – making the time for intimacy is the first step.
In this day and age, with the endless sex shops and an endless variety of sex toys available to buy online, reinvigorating your sex life has never been easier. Whether you want to invest in gag balls, try out some fun chair sex or enter into the leathery world of BDSM, your sex life will never be boring if you work at keeping it fun.
If you want to learn more about sex toys and add fun to your sex life, visit Bedbible.com for expert advice and the best sex toy reviews on the internet!