Wanna Be a Sailor? These 34 Funny Sailing Quotes Will Convince You

Sailing requires stealth, courage, and a sense of humor. If you’re thinking about becoming a sailor, we recommend you check out these funny sailing quotes.

They’ll not only bring a smile to your face, but they’ll also give you a bit of insight into what it’s like to be a member of a ship’s crew. Who knows, you may even learn a bit of sailor lingo in the process!

Funny Sailing Quotes to Tickle Your Funny Bone

#1. “I had to choose between her and the boat, she said. Any sailor will know it is a lot more difficult to get a new boat than a new wife, so I bought her a one-way ticket back to Norway.” ― Peter Tangvald

#2. “Out of sight of land, the sailor feels safe. It is the beach that worries him.” ― Charles Davis

#3. “A rough day at sea is still better than any day in the office.” ― Anonymous

#4. “I swear like a sailor, assuming the sailor in question died in 1800 and was really square.” ― Alexandra Petri

#5. “Sailing is best if you work like a captain and play like a pirate.” ― Anonymous

#6. “You there, are you a sailor?”

      “Ja’ think I’m a cowboy?”― Popeye

#7. “Only two sailors, in my experience, never ran aground. One never left port, and the other was an atrocious liar.” ― Don Bamford

#8. “Life is simple if you just eat, sleep, and sail.” ― Anonymous

#9. “Land was created to provide a place for boats to visit.” ― Brooks Atkinson

#10. “The Ancient Mariner would not have taken so well if it had been called The Old Sailor.” ― Samuel Butler

Meaningful Yet Funny Sailing Quotes for Experienced Sailors

#11.  “He who loves practice without theory is like the sailor who boards ship without a rudder and compass and never knows where he may cast.” ― Leonardo da Vinci:

#12. “At sea, I learned how little a person needs, not how much.” ― Robin Lee Graham

#13. “The good seaman weathers the storm he cannot avoid and avoids the storm he cannot weather.”― Anonymous

#14. “A man without a goal is like a ship without a rudder.” ― Thomas Carlyle:

#15. “A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.” ― William Shedd

#16. “If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable.” ― Seneca

#17. “The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” ― William Arthur Ward

#18. “I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” ― Jimmy Dean

#19. “Any damn fool can navigate the world sober. It takes a really good sailor to do it drunk.” ― Sir Francis Chichester

#20. “Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore! Dream! Discover!” ― Mark Twain

Funny Sailing Quotes with a Hint of Wisdom

#21. “The art of the sailor is to leave nothing to chance.” ― Annie Van De Wiele

#22. “To reach a port, we must set sail. Sail, not tie at anchor. Sail, not drift.” ― Franklin D. Roosevelt

#23. “The wind and the waves are always on the side of the ablest navigator.” ― Edmund Gibbon

#24. “It is not the ship so much as the skillful sailing that assures the prosperous voyage.” ― George William Curtis

#25. “A sailor’s joys are as simple as a child’s.” ― Bernard Moitessier

#26. “Not all who wander are lost.” ― JRR Tolkien

#27. “A man is never lost at sea.” ― Ernest Hemingway

#28. “There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.” ― Willa Cather

#29. “The cabin of a small yacht is truly a wonderful thing; not only will it shelter you from a tempest, but from the other troubles in life; it is a safe retreat.” ― L. Francis Herreshoff

#30. “Ships are the nearest things to dreams that hands have ever made, for somewhere deep in their oaken hearts, the soul of a song is laid.” ― Robert N. Rose

Inspirational and Funny Sailing Quotes

#31. “There is nothing, absolutely nothing, half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats. In or out of ‘em, it doesn’t matter. Nothing seems really to matter, that’s the charm of it. Whether you getaway or whether you don’t; whether you arrive at your destination or whether you reach somewhere else, or whether you never get anywhere at all, you’re always busy, and you never do anything in particular; and when you’ve done it, there’s always something else to do, and you can do it if you like, but you’d much better not.” ― Kenneth Grahame, Wind in the Willows

#32. “Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be Pirates” ― Mark Twain

#33. “Sailing a boat calls for quick action, a blending of feeling with the wind and water as well as with the very heart and soul of the boat itself. Sailing teaches alertness and courage and gives in return a joyousness and peace that but few sports afford.” ― George Matthew Adams

#34. “The questions that used to bother me at times do not weigh anything before the immensity of awake so close to the sky and filled with the wind of the sea.” Bernard Moitessier


Every man’s dream is to sail around the world and be one with the sea. If you’re ready to leave your life on land behind and embark on an adventure, you’re truly a sailor at heart.

Hopefully, these funny sailor quotes have inspired you to pursue a life at sea. Now, set sail and brace yourself for some waves!