How to Take Revenge on Your Husband’s Mistress (without ending up in jail)

When you find out that your husband has a mistress, it’s a huge blow. It can feel as though your heart is never going to heal from the hurt that you have endured. As a result, your pain and misery can quickly turn into anger, directed either inwards or at the two guilty parties.

Whether you leave your husband or stay with him, chances are that you still want to take revenge on the mistress. She’s the one who came in and got her claws into your man, and while he should have known better, she certainly isn’t innocent.

Don’t let anger take hold of your senses so much that you forget yourself. If you cause criminal damage or assault her physically, you are likely to find yourself in serious trouble. When you get your revenge, make sure that it doesn’t come back and hurt you again with these ideas.

How to Take Revenge on Your Husband’s Mistress (without ending up in jail)?

1. Rent a billboard

If you’re feeling so spiteful that you don’t care about money, use your joint account – or your husband’s if you have access to it – to rent a billboard. Anyone can do this, so you just have to get in contact with the company who owns the board and organize the details.

Then you need to get your message printed up. Wives have supposedly used this method of revenge famously in the past, leaving a message to their now-ex husbands that they have found out about the cheating and the marriage is over. You can use it to really get at the mistress, too. You can’t usually use curse words or other harsh language, and you won’t be able to use explicit photos, but other than that you can go for whatever you want.

You might find a photograph of the girl, for example, and paste it up with her full name and a message that she slept with your husband. You have to be careful with image usage rights and your exact wording, so probably talk to a lawyer before you finalize the details. This way, you will cover your back from getting sued for defamation.

It doesn’t even have to be her full name to work. After all, she’s the one that will see this billboard and feel bad. Even if no one else knows it’s her, she will. Make sure that the billboard you choose is close by her home or her workplace so that she will have no choice but to see it on a daily basis.

2. Take out an ad

Why not put an ad in your local paper? While not everyone might read the physical copies these days, they usually have online sections as well. Go to the personal ads or the announcements section and place something there.

Again, you don’t have to use whole names. Just putting her first name and his first name will be enough. You can key people in to who you are talking about by using a reference which shows their relationship. For example, if she is your husband’s secretary, make sure to mention that in the ad. People who know them will know.

Be careful on what you write, of course – you want to hurt them, but avoid anything coming back on yourself. You have freedom of speech on your side, but you don’t want to cross a line into defamation.

3. Sell your things

You own half of everything – right? Well, then, get to work on selling the things he loves the most. Even if you have to share half of the profit with him, the point is that it will be gone.

A jilted wife in Melbourne recently got into the news by trying this tactic, when she sold her husband’s beloved car for a fraction of what it was worth. Since they were already wealthy, it didn’t matter to her that she lost money – she just wanted to see him lose something he really cared about. Sure, he could go and buy another car, but men tend to get very attached to their cars.

If your husband isn’t a motor enthusiast, there might be something else he loves. It might not even be worth anything at all, in which case you can just give it to charity. Make sure you do this before there is any conversation between you which might hint at divorce, otherwise it could be used against you during the proceedings. Don’t target his most expensive belongings, but the ones he cares about the most.

4. Give her tips

Wait – why would you give her tips on how to make him happy? Well, this one is a double bluff. You want to really embarrass him and her at the same time. Start off with putting on a face. You’ll most likely find this whole thing hilarious, but you need to remain angry on the outside.

Arrange a meeting with her – or better yet, show up somewhere that you know she can’t avoid you, as if you can’t hold back anymore and just had to storm in. Once you have her attention, put a big cardboard box down in front of her and open it up.

This box is one that you have prepared ahead of time. In it, you can include all kinds of toys and trinkets that are diametrically opposed to what your husband actually enjoys. You can give her adult diapers and baby bottles, spanking paddles, whips and handcuffs, and so on. Make sure that they are as perverted as possible.

Now, slam that box down, open it up, and tell her you hope she can handle his needs from now on. You can even brandish a few of the items around and explain how he likes to use them for good effect. Tell her about how he likes being bitten hard in sensitive places, or describe acts you know he would never go for. Your cover story is that you’re furious you have been doing these things for him all this time, and now he’s cheated, you’re passing on the baton. Pretend like you don’t believe she can satisfy her, but you’re done.

Of course, none of these things are true. Once you storm out – hopefully with a nice picture of her shocked and humiliated face that you can save in your mind forever – you can wait for your revenge to unfold even further. Next time they meet up, she’s going to try out some of those toys – and he’s going to react in exactly the way you know he will. If only you could be a fly on the wall to watch him freak out!

5. Let her have him

The best revenge might just be this one: let her have him. You can even tell her why you’re doing it. He’s no good to you anymore, because you know if you take him back, he’ll just cheat again.

Instead, the two of them can build a new life together. You’ll get over it, move on, maybe find someone new for yourself. Meanwhile, she’ll be getting more and more paranoid that he might be finding a new mistress again. She’ll end up turning into a bitter shrew who nags him every time he’s home. As for him? He’ll go out and cheat again, because that’s just what he does.

In the end, who gets the last laugh? You do, building a life with someone new based on trust and honesty while watching their relationship crumble into pain and betrayal all over again.

The supreme revenge, in the end, is to go on and find happiness and success in your personal life again. That will wipe any smugness right off her face!

Author Bio: Lucy Taylor is an avid blogger who enjoys sharing her tips and suggestions with her online readers. Working as a legal expert at LY Lawyers, Lucy often helps people dealing with legal problems, addictions and crime.